Seriously, I'm a fat ass. I mean, really, who am I kidding? I know it. So why am I continuing to live this lie that I keep telling myself. I know that I have weight issues. Every year I keep telling myself that I'm going to do something about my weight. That I'm going to get off my lazy ass and start working out. And every year I do get off my lazy ass and start working out. I even manage to knock off a couple of pounds, lose a couple of inches, and squeeze my Betty Crocker thighs into a pair of old jeans. Nice! So what the fuck?! Why can't I keep this weight off? Why can't I keep up with my weight loss and manage it? I'll tell you why. It's because I fucking suck. I give up so easily. I have one bad day and I let it snowball into a bad week, then a bad month, and then I just say fuck it and stop working out and call up my old friends Betty, Duncan, and Little Debbie. And it irritates me. I know I can do better. I know I want to do better. But argh, I never do.
Now before anyone points out that I just had a baby 4 months ago, yeah I'm aware of that. I know there is supposed to be left over weight. Trust me, that is duly noted. But I'm not talking about that weight. I'm talking about the belly fat caused by Slurpees and hot dogs, not a placenta and an actual baby. The Betty Crocker thighs, Dunkin Donuts belly, and ogre like arms are all a cause of my poor ass eating habits. This is me taking responsibility for it. I'm not denying it. Because as I said earlier, I'm not kidding anyone. Yeah, I look fucking drop dead gorgeous with clothes on, but I want to be super sexy naked. So hot that my husband is late for work every morning because he's trying to get some early morning action because he's so distracted with my beautiful body. Now of course he already thinks I'm the hottest thing walking around. But blah blah blah, that's nice. But that's not how I feel.
Soooooooooooooo, here we go again. Makita on her journey to losing weight. But this time there's a twist. I've joined a local Biggest Loser contest. Yeah baby that's right. I'm fixed to attempt to lose weight all for a contest. Whatever it takes, right? I'm actually really excited and hope I win. So I'm going to give it my all. The contest starts tomorrow and ends in May. So how am I going to do it? I'm going back to kickboxing. I'm also attempting to change my diet. I'm saying attempting because we all know Ms. Makita loves french fries. Plus, whenever I get on this whole "I'm only going to eat healthy" stuff, it never works out because I get too caught up on trying not to make a mistake. So I'm just going to go with the flow and not beat myself up. The plan is to have fun while losing weight and hopefully win the money.
So here we go again. Makita's attempt to lose weight while hoping to win the money through kickboxing. We'll see how it goes. Tomorrow, I'll post my new weight and measurements.
FYI, for those of you wondering. Since we had a baby last year, we didn't go to St. Lucia. But if this contest works out for me and I lose weight, I'll look great by the time summer rolls around. Let's hope for the best people.
2 comments:
First of all... this is the best post title in the history of blogging. I'm also doing the "challenge" and I'm right there with you.
You go girl! You can do it I know you can!
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