Not Today Ms. Thang, Not Today!

That's right chile! Not today! You think you are so slick, trying to creep up on me. Chile please! I wasn't born yesterday. I'm hip to your game and I know your name. Trying to psych me out with some weight gain. Heifer, I don't think so. Trying to lure me into temptation of a threesome with Otis Spunkmeyer and Ben and Jerry. You must think my name is boo boo the fool! But like I said not today Ms. Thang, not today! I've been dealing with your bitter ass since I was 11 years old. Mmm hmm, every 28 days. So I know what's up. I know the game you trying to play on me. But I got you this time. I bet you wasn't expecting me to not eat anything salty and workout twice a day so I can defeat your bloating techniques. And you just knew I was going to reach for my old friends Otis, Ben, and Jerry. But, ha ha you were wrong. I'm rolling with new friends now. Named Chiquita, Granny Smith, and some chick who just goes by Sun Maid. So stop hating! You are not bringing me down this month. Oh no, I am not having your bull this month. So come on bring it! I'm ready. Ready to knock you back on your ass! Hmmph! Trying to mess with me, you must be crazy!