So Billy...We Need to Talk

What the hell man? What.The.Hell? Why are you trying to kill me? I signed up for a workout, not a damn "let's see how fast I can kill someone" deal. Really, that new Taebo DVD I got, yeah the Ultimate Taebo one is NOT the business. Within 10 minutes I was ready to fall out and just die. UGH! Kick, punch, lunge, punch, kick is not a good routine. I don't care what that peppy botoxed skank said. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. Ms. Botox Skank, the one with the pink tank top and the horrendous camel toe. Yeah her. She was getting on my last nerve. Jumping around like she does this crap in her sleep. Whatever.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. So you trying to kill me or what? Cause there are easier ways to get the job done. I personally prefer a death by chocolate. That's right. I'd love to go surrounded by Kit Kats, double fudge brownies, and Rocky Road ice cream. *shuddering* Wait, where was I? Aw hell, forget it. Let me just say stop trying to kill me Billy!

Sexyville Here I Come!!!

Woot woot!!!I'm so proud of myself today!. I just finished weighing and measuring myself for this past week. Take a look to the right for My Stats update for today. I've lost 3lbs in weight, .12% in body fat, .69 in BMI, 2 inches off my waist, 1 inch off each of my thighs, and 1/4 inch off my hips!!! Woot woot!

I'm so damn happy because it was so not easy this week. I've had two cakes to bake with another to bake later today. And then tomorrow I've got a baby shower to go to and then afterward we are hanging out with my husband's friend and wife. So I just need to stay mindful and keep my eyes on the prize. If I continue to be good and not stress myself then I'll arrive at Sexyville in no time. I'm trying to stay level headed and not pack my bags too soon. Now I'm off to go reward my hard work with a round of Taebo.

Feeling The Burn...And Not The Kind From My Thighs Rubbing Together

So this week I'm really feeling the burn! I've worked out every day and I'm so proud. It's only been a week, but I can already see a difference. While I'm sure I probably haven't lost any pounds, I'm quite positive I've lost a couple of inches around my belly. Yesterday, when I was getting dressed, I noticed my belt with around a little further than normal. SWEET!!!! At this rate, I'm going to look SUPER SEXY by the time my anniversary is here and the contest is over.

I found a workout partner yesterday. My friend and I are going to walk daily in the morning. And then afterward, I'm going to workout solo with my regular routines of either the aerobic ball or kickboxing. I love both exercise routines so it works out perfectly for me.

Tomorrow, I'll do my weekly weigh in and measurements to see how far I've come. Although, I'm tired as hell in the mornings because of the late nights with Patrick. I like working out because while my thighs are burning, I still feel pumped the rest of the day. Finally, I'm feeling the burn and not because my thighs are rubbing together, lol.

Biggest Loser, Billy Blanks, and Big Breasts

So today is the kick off day for DAM's Biggest Loser contest. This morning I weighed myself and took my measurements. Funny, how I've lost inches (except around my belly) while I was pregnant. I guess that crappy ass pregnancy workout DVD I bought paid off. So I think I'm off to good a start. Just slightly under 200lbs. Yeah, 198lbs. Normally, I'd be ashamed, but eh...whatever. It's only temporary. My ideal weight is in the 140s, but since I'm not willing to starve myself and live at the gym, somewhere in the 160s. So I'm pumped. All the ladies are wishing one another good luck. I hope we all meet our goals. Because in the end we're all winners for just getting out there and saying goodbye to fat.

I did my morning routine of yoga once I got up to help rejuvenate myself after a long night of "wah...I don't want to sleep in my crib...wah...I want you to hold me all night long...wah wah wah." Okay, so Patrick can't talk, but if he could that's exactly what he would say. So after yoga I took my measurements and weight. And then went and ate a nutritiously delicious breakfast of eggs and toast with a glass of orange juice. Then I took my son, Sean, to ride his bike while I jogged along with Patrick in his stroller. Okay...I'm lying, I didn't joke. I walked along. But, it was a brisk walk. So there.

So I'm off to a good start and decided to go old school and broke out my 1998 Taebo VHS tapes. That's right, I said Taebo V H S. Stop hating. Billy worked my ass. My thighs are still feeling the burn. But that's okay because Billy makes it all better. I love how concerned he is with all his little commentary. "How you doing? You feeling alright? Just take your time. I believe in you." Ha ha ha. Billy is classic. I love Billy, but Billy doesn't love us big breasted girls. Seriously, all that jumping around and "double time" reeks havoc on my girls. Not cool, Billy. Not cool. I hate to break it to you brother, but not all of us are like Sandy (the annoyingly cheerful bottle blond standing behind you to the left). We have breasts. And they hurt when they're flapped around. Yeah, yeah, I know...get a good sports bra. Like I haven't already thought of that. Do you not realize how hard it is to find a good sports bra when your breasts are bigger than some small dogs? Oh wait, you don't know Billy because you're a GUY! I digress. You keep me motivated with your workouts and I'll work on strapping down the girls.

Plain and Simple: I'm a Fat Ass

Seriously, I'm a fat ass. I mean, really, who am I kidding? I know it. So why am I continuing to live this lie that I keep telling myself. I know that I have weight issues. Every year I keep telling myself that I'm going to do something about my weight. That I'm going to get off my lazy ass and start working out. And every year I do get off my lazy ass and start working out. I even manage to knock off a couple of pounds, lose a couple of inches, and squeeze my Betty Crocker thighs into a pair of old jeans. Nice! So what the fuck?! Why can't I keep this weight off? Why can't I keep up with my weight loss and manage it? I'll tell you why. It's because I fucking suck. I give up so easily. I have one bad day and I let it snowball into a bad week, then a bad month, and then I just say fuck it and stop working out and call up my old friends Betty, Duncan, and Little Debbie. And it irritates me. I know I can do better. I know I want to do better. But argh, I never do.

Now before anyone points out that I just had a baby 4 months ago, yeah I'm aware of that. I know there is supposed to be left over weight. Trust me, that is duly noted. But I'm not talking about that weight. I'm talking about the belly fat caused by Slurpees and hot dogs, not a placenta and an actual baby. The Betty Crocker thighs, Dunkin Donuts belly, and ogre like arms are all a cause of my poor ass eating habits. This is me taking responsibility for it. I'm not denying it. Because as I said earlier, I'm not kidding anyone. Yeah, I look fucking drop dead gorgeous with clothes on, but I want to be super sexy naked. So hot that my husband is late for work every morning because he's trying to get some early morning action because he's so distracted with my beautiful body. Now of course he already thinks I'm the hottest thing walking around. But blah blah blah, that's nice. But that's not how I feel.

Soooooooooooooo, here we go again. Makita on her journey to losing weight. But this time there's a twist. I've joined a local Biggest Loser contest. Yeah baby that's right. I'm fixed to attempt to lose weight all for a contest. Whatever it takes, right? I'm actually really excited and hope I win. So I'm going to give it my all. The contest starts tomorrow and ends in May. So how am I going to do it? I'm going back to kickboxing. I'm also attempting to change my diet. I'm saying attempting because we all know Ms. Makita loves french fries. Plus, whenever I get on this whole "I'm only going to eat healthy" stuff, it never works out because I get too caught up on trying not to make a mistake. So I'm just going to go with the flow and not beat myself up. The plan is to have fun while losing weight and hopefully win the money.

So here we go again. Makita's attempt to lose weight while hoping to win the money through kickboxing. We'll see how it goes. Tomorrow, I'll post my new weight and measurements.

FYI, for those of you wondering. Since we had a baby last year, we didn't go to St. Lucia. But if this contest works out for me and I lose weight, I'll look great by the time summer rolls around. Let's hope for the best people.