I'm Not Pregnant Anymore!!!!

Okay, so I was never pregnant. But a few months ago this kid told me "My mom is having a baby, are you having a baby too?" Can you imagine how fucking horrible it is to have a 5 year old ask you if you are pregnant?!!! It was so not cool. Of course, he didn't know any better. But still, that's rough. So I have to admit, my pooch was starting to look like a baby was growing int there (thank goodness there wasn't). I needed to get my ass in gear and I have!!! I'm doing really well. My belly no longer looks like its got another little munchkin in there. Its still not where it needs to be, but hey, as long as I don't look like it time to start planning the baby shower I'm good.

Today, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I threw up after class a few times. I was getting my workout a little too intense. I had never taken a class with this instructor today. I don't know if I'll be able to do another class with her. But I'm not giving up. She pushed us to the edge. I just need to step back and maintain what I can do. I feel kind of crappy now though because of the intense workout.

I've restarted my No Fast Food Challenge today. I was really bad over the weekend. I ate pizza everyday. I know, I know. Makita, you've been doing so damn well. Well, not to make excuses, but I fell briefly back into the cycle after hearing about the death of a really close friend. So...I'm just going to skip over what happened and act like it never did. I think that is why I pushed myself so hard in class today. Well, I definitely learned my lesson.

I Want a Divorce!!!!

So today the hubster and I were talking and I started telling him about this book I've been reading that my KB instructor recommended. So I was telling him I haven't lost weight, but I've lost body fat. So I get this idea to calculate his body fat. Turned out that wasn't the brightest idea. He has less than 9% body fat! WHAT THE HELL!!!! Of course, I know men and women differ. But, come on now! Less than 9%!!! That's crazy. However I do see how it's possible. Everyone always jokes about him being small. But he's very athletic and lean. His body fat percentage is considered equal to that of a professional athlete by the U.S. Navy. Here I am with almost 4 times the body fat he has. That's okay. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get that super, sexy body that's right for me. I'm still shocked though. Unbelievable.

So, I've also started reading "YOU On A Diet: The Owner's Guide to Waist Management" by Dr. Oz and Dr. Rozem (yes, the Oprah guys). I am really loving it. It's a fun, easy read I like the fact they understand not everyone is meant to be a size negative Paris Hilton. We all have different body shapes and structures. Come on, if you look at me its very hard to believe my weight. So I'm recommending this book. It also has a 14 day plan at the end of the book, but I'm not there yet. When I get there, I'll keep you posted.

A New Approach, Same Method

Alright, so this morning I weighed myself and almost burst into tears. I've gained weight!!!! What the fudge monkey balls? So I headed on into kickboxing class, which was a real treat because I never get the chance to go on Mondays. So anyway, I was in a bit of a funk, but class got me back up to speed. The last two classes have been more of a boot camp with strength training and muscle conditioning that kickboxing. I thought I was going to die at first, but now I'm getting the hang of it. So after class I went to talk with the instructor about what's going on with my body. How can I be gaining weight when I'm doing the right stuff to tone it up. Well, to my surprise, although I think I knew this somewhere in the back of my head, I'm gaining muscle. Since I've lost a little off my waist and so much body fat I'm making progress. He says I need to kick the scale like a bad habit and pay attention to inches and body fay percentage. If I keep looking at the scale, I'm going to get discouraged. So yeah for me for knocking off body fat.

If you've been keeping up with my weight loss status then you'll notice I changed the "My Stats" format and added an "Overall Goal" section. Also, the measurements have fluctuated a bit after looking at my written journal. Some of the measurements were off. So now I'll be measuring my bust, waist, hips, and thighs. I love my hips and thighs though, but what I wouldn't give to get rid of these breasts. I know it is going to take a lot of upper body work to help this area. I would like to at least go down one band size. Just one, I'm not asking for all of it to go. I know the hubster wouldn't be happy with that one, lol. But yeah...I'm still hyped and focused!!!!

Ass Kicking Gloves Kicking Breast Cancer's Ass!

I got my kickboxing gloves yesterday!!!! I am so in love with them. Even though I am not a pink wearing kind of girl, I got pink to support breast cancer research. They even came with a cute little key chain. Best of all 10% of the sale went to the Susan G. Komen foundation. I am all about finding a cure fore breast cancer. And, if I can help support the cure while kicking this fat off my body then I'm all for it. Cancer, of any kind, sucks. I mean really sucks. If I had a wish, I'd wish for cancer to be nonexistent. Okay, I'm lying. I'd wish to be a billionaire. BUT, I would give countless dollars to fund the research. Cancer has touched my family and the people I love one too many times and I am not happy about it.

So anyway, I've got my gloves and went back to class yesterday as well. Last week we were out of town for Thanksgiving. Yeah...about Thanksgiving. I'll only tell you once. Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. So moving forward, today I did step aerobics and I did it with my gloves on. Talk about a challenge. I was throwing hooks and jabs instead of the normal arm routine that goes with the step program. I also did some ab exercises that the Navy Seals do. Now, I know why they have them sexy ass bodies. That crap is HARD!!!!! If I can find them online then I'll post them so others can suffer along with me. St. Lucia is calling me baby!

I Think I Can...I Think I Can

Wait...I know I can. I can kick the monkey's ass before he has a chance to climb on my back this Thanksgiving. I can keep it together. I can continue my workout. I can do it. I can not eat a whole pie and half a pan of macaroni and cheese (the good kind too that is baked in the oven...mmmm). I can do it, I just have to stay focused. I have to remember that I am working towards St. Lucia. St. Lucia is so much more important than some candied yams and chocolate cake. I can do it. I know I can. I won't give in. If I give in then Ducan and Otis will be begging me to take them back. I can't. I can't go back to a relationship where all I was dependent on them. I need my independence. I can do it. I've got a plan. I'm going to stick to the plan. I won't care about hurting so and so feelings because I won't try their food. I'll fake a headache. Too bad, my friend already came and went otherwise I'd fake cramps. But wait...they don't know that. Maybe I can use that one. I'll coat my nose with olive oil so it'll fend off all the wonderful smells. I can do it. I have to do it. St. Lucia, I love you, keep me strong.

Makita:1 Duncan Hines:0

Oooh look at me. I am doing really good resisting temptation. I'm in the process of baking brownies and I didn't even try to lick the spoon. Seriously. I'm not even thinking about tasting them. You know how it is. You have to eat one because you have to make sure it taste good, right? LOL. Yeah, then you end up eating damn near the whole pan if not all of the pan. Yep. But not this time. I purposely made these brownies with walnuts so I wouldn't be tempted. I hatewalnuts in brownies. YUCK!!!! I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but it's not. Brownies are supposed to be nice and smooth, the chocolate just melting in your mouth. Ooh, thank goodness I put walnuts in them, otherwise I'd be all over them. Wait...no I wouldn't. I'm stronger than Duncan. He better not try to mess with me or he'll end up like Otis. Otis takes a beating every Tuesday and Friday in kickboxing class. Yeah, I'm weird, I know. I like to envision my punching/kicking bag as the temptations in my life.

I'm not worried about pigging out over the holidays. I never have much of an appetite during the season, not even for sweet stuff. Its usually the driving to and from our destinations that get me. The fast food places be killing me. But this year I have a game plan. Thanks to some helpful tips from friends, I'm going to be planning out our stops and packing snacks to help me avoid wanting to munch on junk. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is going to stop me from getting where I want to be. There is no reason why I should be dragging all this extra. I can't even blame this on the children anymore because its been 3 1/2 years since I gave birth last. So I need to get it together and keep it moving. I still need to do my ball workout today. I'm waiting for the boys to get home because they keep me motivated by copying what I'm doing. They are so silly. The other day we all got a really good workout dancing and singing karaoke. There is nothing funnier than watching little kids sing their hearts out.

All in a good day.

Another Day

So I'm keeping up with the kickboxing. I am really loving the classes. Every instructor is different which makes every class different. The instructors are friendly and everyone is the class is nice. I'm the newbie and I like that I don't feel pressured to keep up with everyone else. It's gotten better since the initial class. I thought I was going to roll over and die after the first class. My entire body hurt for 3 days after the class. It was just rough. But, now its not so bad. I really need to work on my coordination though. Its crazy because they will be jabbing with their left arm and I'm jabbing with my right. I'm getting better though.

I've been doing good on the eating plan. I'm still having a hard time breaking up with Otis. He wants to try therapy, but I think its time for us to just part our ways. I'm not returning Debbie's calls so I know she must be pissed. Oh well, it's for the greater good. I did get caught by one of my kickboxing instructors today in the grocery store buying some Hostess cakes, lol. I was trying to hide them, but then she pulled out her giant bag of Cheetos. So we vowed not to tell anyone in the class what we saw today, lol.

All in all, it was a good day. I can't wait until tomorrow when I focus on my abs. Go Makita!!!

Goodbye Craptastic Gym, Hello Kickboxing!

Yes, yes, I know its been a long time since you've seen me. A really long time. But I'm back and I'm ready and committed to doing this. Yes, really committed. I have to say I have been doing well though. I'm not big on fast food anymore. Little Debbie and I have broken up and Otis Spunkmeyer and I are separated. I had been managing to work out occasionally with doing step at home and the ball workout. But I haven't seen my gym in so long. Wait, I did recently go just to confirm to myself just how much I hate it. Its so damn boring, seriously. It is like the worst gym ever. I got suckered in by the price. I am still trying to figure out how I got roped into a gym that "caters" to women and focuses on bringing in moms, but don't have a daycare. HELLO!!!!! One of the main reasons moms can't work out is because they don't have daycare. So why in the hell would they join your gym and you don't offer that...wait, I joined that gym knowing they didn't have a daycare. Crap...but, its okay for me though because I was temporarily insane due to their low price.

But anyway, I'm happy to say that I've taken up kickboxing. It's really fun and a hell of a workout. Plus, the instructors are really motivating and helpful. They encourage you to go at your own pace and don't force you to feel the burn. I really liked that when I got off track, the instructor gave me personal attention to get me back on track. She was very friendly and didn't make me feel like a loser. Although I was put to shame by this lady over 60 who was kicking ass like a pro. The workout was rough but it felt good. I hear every class is different and that the core is always focused on. My stomach muscles are still feeling the workout. I'm also going to take the muscle conditioning class on Thursday nights when I can.

I decided to go with kickboxing because I'm a kick ass type of chick and it just aligned with my personality. Now, I'm not going to go off beating up random people...I actually already have a few people in mind. But it does feel good knowing that not only is this routine helping me take control of my body, but it is alway giving me the confidence of knowing I could defend myself if I ever needed to.

So why am I back? Why now? Next year is my 5th anniversary with my husband and we're planning a trip to St. Lucia. Sweet!!! So there is no way I will allow myself to drag around all this extra junk. I need to get it together because I want to look extra hot for the hubby. Plus, I'm tired of complaining about my weight. And, I want to be healthier. I'm not looking to have a heart attack before 30 or even a heart attack at all. It just isn't worth it. My kids need me and St. Lucia needs me to grace its beautiful beaches with my sexy body. :P

*Gasp* I Exercised On A Sunday!

I'm back on the ball, literally. Last week I was at Barnes and Nobles and I just could not resist their bargain aisles. You know the ones that happen to just be strategically placed by the checkout? Well, I've been intrigued by their workout kits. A few months ago I bought the Jump Into Fitness dvd kit that included a booklet, dvd, and jump rope. Well, I liked the concept behind the idea. I was a kid once + I had a jump rope = "this should be a whole lot of fun and easy." Well, it was and it wasn't. I still use the jump rope from time to time. But the idea of putting a dvd in the kit was stupid in my opinion. I'm not going to jump rope in my living room while trying to follow a dvd. So basically I only had the book. Let me tell you now and save you some trouble. Jump roping and reading a book is not a good idea. Unfortunately, I could never fit busting my ass while jump roping into my schedule. Just never seemed to work out. So I always ending up reading the book late at night and then jump roping days later after I had forgotten what I read. In the end, I just got lazy and said "whatever". The dvd is now lost, the book is under my bed, and the jump rope is in my bedroom laying on the floor.

Okay, so back to the original story. So I was in Barnes and Nobles waiting to checkout and I saw their Ball and Band kit. I've always wanted to try the ball classes at the gym, but no, that just wasn't going to happen any time soon. The times I took just the step classes at my gym, it was horrible. They went left, I went right. They stepped up, I stepped off. So in the end I've decided for my sake and their safety, I'm only doing step aerobics at home. Back to Barnes and Nobles, I bought the kit. It included a dvd, booklet, resistance band, and exercise ball. The moment I got home, I blew up the ball, stretched out the band a little, and read through the book. Now in my mind, I was getting my exercise on. But in reality, I was sitting on the sofa eating some mini chocolate cakes. No, no... I will not feel guilty about eating the cakes. They were the little mini ho ho cakes from Hostess. They now have them in the 100 calorie packs. I like them a lot and for less than a 100 calories they are a winner in my book.

So today, I finally got off my sofa and did the workout. In my defense though from doing no exercise last week, even though I said I would, I had a lot of things going on medically so I was unable to exercise. But now I'm okay so I'm good to go. Well, the workout was crazy. In a good way. Their are two instructors, a male and a female, Mark and Dina. Mark was a nice piece of man candy to look at. Very inspiring. I did the level 1 workout for beginners. It wasn't too fast paced or too slow for me. I liked it a lot and was surprised when I started to break a sweat. The cardio section was a lot of fun. I liked bouncing on the ball while incorporating other moves like squats and stuff. The only thing I didn't like was I felt they could of done a better job explaining the core muscles to their viewers. I know what my core muscles are, however some people people don't. So if you're going to claim that it's very basic and great for beginners, then you need to start explaining things a beginner may not know. But all in all, it was fun.

I don't know how often this will be in my workout routing, but I'm definitely not ruling it out.

Alright Now...Let's Make It Happen

Okay, so I know I said I'm starting this week off right. And, I am....but, I'm not so sure I'll be able to just jump right back into the gym tomorrow. I've had a lot going on last week. I've been really sick and in pain. So I'm off to the doctors on Tuesday. Hopefully, I'm not dying. I don't know what's going on with my body, but it hurts and I need to get that squared away before I do anything strenuous. So tomorrow, I am going to the gym, but I'm keeping it light. Once I know death isn't knocking on my door, I'm on my way to the gym.

This Time I Mean It

Yeah, this just isn't working. I'm still trying though. I haven't done anything this week, except go walking. It's that wonderful time of the month when every woman just feels so extra special in her life. *rolls eyes* I don't do anything at this time of month. I'm really pushing it with just the walking. At least now I know why I felt so down and hard on myself last week. I should of figured it out though. So this week I feel crappy, but I'm not beating myself up anymore.

Next week it's back to the gym and to my regular workout routine. Plus, my best friend is giving me her elliptical trainer. The only problem is I live in Richmond, Va and she lives in New Orleans, La. I have no idea how I'm going to get it here, but I want it. She has no idea how to get it out of her house and to the shipping place, but she wants to give it to me. I'm thinking if she can take it apart and put it in a box, we can have UPS or Fed Ex pick it up and then deliver it to me. I swear if I get it I will use it every single day.

I really need to get my butt into gear because the hubster's high school reunion is getting closer and closer. I basically have about a month now to whip it into shape. I keep saying every day I'm going to do it, yet, I haven't. So this time I mean it. No more Mc Fatty Fat Fat. I'm going to do it. I have to before I drop dead or get diabetes or something. I can't afford to have a heart attack. If I'm gone who else is going to spread my bubbly goodness? See, so many people need me. So I'm going to do it. I will.

*Sigh*

I just can't seem to get it together. I really want to lose weight, but I'm so not motivated to do it. I'm both annoyed and disgusted with myself. I hate looking at myself in a mirror and if I do, it's only from the neck up. I just feel fat. I can't blame anyone but myself. I haven't been to the gym since week 1 and part of that has been because my husband is technically out of town and with the boys being out of school for summer, I can't find the time. However, that's no real excuse. Especially, since I have so many workout programs here at home--Taebo, Sweating with the Spirit, Step Aerobics, Jump for Fitness, FitTV, and so many other things. There's no reason for me to be like this, but I can't help it. Most days I just want to sleep. I'm always so tired. And, I know it's because of the anemia, but I'm on iron pills now so that should be getting better soon.

But, still. I have no will power whatsoever. I might as well rename myself Fatty McFat Fat. I didn't need that extra hot dog or chicken nuggets, or McDonald's, or any of the crap I've been eating. I wanted it and I told myself I didn't care. But I did, I've always cared. I eat now and cry later. That's been my philosophy for so long. I know how to eat healthy and make smarter choices, but I don't. I give into the fat person who lives inside me that will soon break out if I don't control her. I just don't have the motivation to do so. I just want to take pity on myself. But what good does that do? Nothing, it just makes me fatter because I'm being a slump on the sofa or in bed.

I don't know. I know I need to get off my ass and move it. I know my kids and husband should be my motivation. In fact, I should be my motivation. I know I want to be around to celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary, to see my boys graduate college, to help my future daughter find a wedding dress. Why can't I get off my ass? Why am I not motivated? I keep asking myself that when I know what my motivation is, but don't know how to accomplish my goal.

*sigh*

I'm Skipping Week 2

It's my body and I can skip if I want to. So there!

I just can't seem to get started this week. I am soooo tired and with the husband out of town, I'm not finding the time. I have continued to eat healthy. I backslid a little on Monday and had a hamburger and fries from McDonalds. A friend and I took a pole dancing class for exercise and we worked up quite a hunger. So we swung through the drive thru on the way home. The class was a lot of fun. I've decided to add it to my regular workout program as something fun to so I don't get bored. Plus, you can burn up to 400 calories per session. So Monday, I exercised a little at home and then did the pole dancing class. But then I ruined my work for the day with the burger and fries.

Yesterday, I was way to exhausted to do anything. I ended up going back to sleep for several hours after I dropped my youngest off for preschool. I was such a wreck. All I could do was sleep. Exercise was the last thing on my mind. Plus, the iron pills prescribed to me made my stomach hurt so badly. I ended up not eating anything yesterday except a glass of juice to take it with and a yogurt. My stomach just couldn't take any thing else. So I'm guessing I probably burned off like a million calories from sleep (hey, that was some super sleeping I did) combined with not being able to eat made up for not exercising.

Today, I'm even more exhausted. Plus, the boys are home and the hubster is out of town so I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it to the gym. But, I definitely going to try and do some step or at least yoga tonight. The iron pills are reeking havoc on my stomach again so I haven't eaten yet. I plan to just eat some fruit and something very light. A good recipe I got from Women's Prevention magazine for a delicious apple snack was

1 apple (cored and sliced)
2 tbsp of peanut butter
1 dash of cinnamon

mix the cinnamon and peanut and then spread on the apple slices. 276 calories, 8g of protein, 30g of carbohydrates, 17g of fat, 3g of saturated fat, 8g of fiber, 1mg of sodium.

I really love this snack along with their Chocoberry Smoothie

1/2 cup low-fat chocolate ice cream
1/2 cup of frozen raspberries
1/2 cup of low-fat chocolate milk
1 tbsp of chocolate whey protein powder
1/2 banana
3 ice cubes

blend well. 340 calories, 17g of protein, 56g of carbohydrates, 7g of fat, 4g of saturated fat, 6g of fiber, 145mg of sodium. If you drink it before a workout, instead of after, it'll help increase strength.

See? I like to share. I'm not stingy. So if you have a great recipe to share, please do.

So hopefully, this week will shape up better. I've still got 3 more days.

Okay, So Week 1 is done

The week was successful, well, sort of. I have been working out which is a big plus. I did three days at the gym. Two days of intense walking (one of those days I was carrying around my youngest munchkin who is 29 lbs) and one day of step aerobics at home. So I've been doing well on the getting out and about aspect and staying active. But, my healthy lifestyle eating is still in the works. Thankfully, I know it's not an overnight thing so I'm not beating myself up too badly. I'm really just being lazy with the healthy eating thing. I went to the store on Wednesday and filled my cart with healthier alternatives-lean chicken and turkey, fruits, veggies, and healthier snacks. Although, if you've been to my house, you know I've got gallons of water. I'm allergic to tap water. Okay not really, I just think it tastes awful. We already eat wheat grain breads and pasta, so we're on the right track.

Someone suggested turkey bacon in a comment. Thanks! I've always known about turkey bacon and thoroughly enjoyed it until an ex-boyfriend ruined the whole experience. He was a turkey bacon whore. He loved it and ate it all day every day religiously. For some stupid reason, he assumed he could eat as much as he wanted because it was healthier than pork bacon. Yeah, um, okay genius. So when he couldn't get the last 15 lbs off,(OMG, he whined ALL the time about his weight) he complained. Well, hello Einstein, put two and two together and figure out the answer. Just because something is healthy doesn't mean you can consume as much as you want. Knock knock. Who's there? Portion. Portion who? Portion control, you idiot!

So back on topic, I'm glad I rediscovered turkey bacon. I can't remember who commented about it, but thanks and I wish you 15lbs lighter. So anyway, I'll be honest and say I've made some really good choices this week about my eating habits and two bad ones. Well, maybe just one really bad one. Saturday I went to lunch with my good friend after we did the Walk for Change campaign to raise awareness for Barack Obama. We went to Uno's and I ordered a meal that metamorphosed directly into belly fat the moment I swallowed it. I had the "Bring Home the Bacon" burger and the skinless loaded baked potato. I washed it down with a pepsi, a smoothie, and a glass of water. No, wait, I didn't drink the water because it tasted like toilet water with lemon. Please, don't ask how I know what toilet water tastes like. So I was really bad. But, in my defense I did step aerobics later that evening.

My other not so good choice, which I don't think was really that bad was going to Red Lobster. I got the Boston Iced Tea which was really just brown colored cranberry juice. I still drank it though because I knew it was a smarter choice than anything else. I got their grilled chicken on a bed of rice pilaf with the steamed vegetables. Yeah, I know what your thinking "oh that's not bad". Well, it wasn't especially since I asked for a portion controlled size. But, here's where I went bad. I stole some of my kids' french fries. Yeah, I know two sins with one stone. I stole, and then lied to them about what happened to them. Thankfully they are only 3 and 4 and can't really rationalize yet that mommy is a french fry thief. To top off the meal, my husband ordered the banana fosters cheesecake. Dude, that's my favorite kind of cheesecake. Nobody does it like Copelands' Cheesecake Bistro in New Orleans. But, this wasn't New Orleans so I shouldn't of been tempted, right? We got it to go so we could share it later. Actually, we just wanted to eat it without having the kids ask us for some. Yeah, we're those kind of parents. I wasn't too bad though, I only ate a few bites. Really, mainly the crust and the whipped cream. You know, I think I could live off the crust on cheesecakes and whipped cream.

So technically, I did okay. If you count me devouring Prince with my eyes while watching Purple Rain last night, then I was really bad. I swear I could just eat him up. Oh, Prince...and Barack...and Will...and Sawyer...and of course Derrick. *sigh*. Just one more reason for me to get sexy and healthy.

Fat:1 Makita: 1/2

So far so good. I went to the gym yesterday again and it went really well. My arms were very sore from the day before, but I worked through the pain. No pain, no gain... right? I did an hour of cardio on some machine. I'm not sure what it's called but I know it's an elliptical machine. It's like a bike, except it has no seat to sit down. I know they have trekking classes using those machines, so I guess it's a Trekker? I don't know. All I know is it kicked my butt. I did the aerobics option and it was a hell of a ride. First, I went really slow, then fast, then slow, then just using my legs, then just using my arms. And then, just as I was about to die, it switched directions on me. So I was cycling in reverse. It was rough. I started panting and the only lady next to me moved to another machine. Well, shoot it was hard work. What else was she expecting me to do? Grin and bare it with a smile. Please! I was really proud of myself for sticking it out for an hour. I ended the workout with some stretches and then Yoga. I like Yoga, however I can never get the whole meditation and quieting your mind thing. My mind runs a mile a minute and it never slows down. So I always just skip that part and just do the positions.

I ended up having to grab lunch on the go which turned out to be really good. I went to Chic Fila and managed to get one of their cool wraps. I was able to avoid their oh so freaking delicious waffle fries and cooling milkshakes and tasty cheesecake. Crap, what have I gotten myself into?

So I had the cool wrap which was really good. Basically, it's a salad wrapped up to go. I got the low fat dressing and an Iced-Tea. Very tasty! So I managed to avoid all the bad stuff and not tackle an innocent bystander enjoying their food. There was this lady there who was making her fries look as if they were the best thing she's tasted in a long time. Her eyes were twinkling with delight and desire. I was so jealous. Wait, maybe she was really looking at the guy sitting across from her. Hmm...I'll have to look into that.

Today is home day. So I'm going to do some step aerobics later this evening after the boys have fallen asleep. I love doing step at home. Actually, I can only do step at home. I'm so uncoordinated when it comes to following directions that involve body movement. I've tried twice at the gym and each time I look so stupid. While the class is going left, I'm going right. They're going up, I'm going down. They're doing around the world, I'm doing the V step. I always get really lost and then the instructor always comes to stand next to me, yeah, like that makes me feel any better. So I suck in public when it comes to stepping. So I do it in the privacy of my own home where no one can see me.

So far, fat is still in the lead by 1/2 a point. Only because I gave him a head start. It's okay though because when I hit him hard, he won't know it until tomorrow. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow. But I promise you, it's coming.

Fat:1 Makita:0

So I embarked on my journey to a healthy lifestyle today. Overall, it went pretty well, but I have to say fat was the winner today. I went to the gym today. I felt like I had walked into an entirely new gym. They have done a lot of remodeling in the two months I've been gone. My personal trainer looked a little surprised to see me. We talked and she's wishing me the best.

She weighed me today and it turns out I'm actually 187lbs. Correction, I'm 187.8lbs. Which in my opinion isn't bad considering I haven't been to the gym in two months. And all I've gained is 3lbs. That's not too shabby in my book. We also did my measurements. And, again I have to say I haven't done too badly. I've only gained 2 inches in my waist and 3 1/2 inches in my abdomen. My waist is 36 1/2 inches and my abdomen is 39 1/2 inches. So I want to lose 6 inches off my waist and 9 off my waist. My hips are 42 inches. I love my hips! I always have. I'll never forget when I was in high school that my secret crush, Skylar, told me "Dang girl, you've got some nice hips" *sigh*. I would like to lose 6 inches off my hips even though they are awesome. I'd love to lose these boulders I call breast, but I've grown to accept them. However, if my chest does miraculously become smaller, you won't see me shedding any tears. I'd give anything to wear a spaghetti strap shirt.

Surprisingly, my body mass index has actually gone down in the two months I've done nothing. But before I post it I need to get something straight with my personal trainer. According the scale at the gym it's 42.3%, however every other BMI calculator I've used says its 30.8%. That's one hell of a difference. Either way though I'm still considered obese. But if you ask me, as long as I can still get up and move around on my own I'm not obese. Fat, yes. Obese, no. Maybe it's just me, but when I think of an obese person I think of the people they show on the TLC channel who are so big they can't move on their own. In a way it saddens me because I know I never want to get like that. And, it makes me sad to see them like that because I know it must be hard living like that.

But back to the topic. So fat won today and I lost. But I tell you what, fat better watch it's back. I've got all kinds of tricks up my sleeve. And I'll be honest. I fight dirty. So fat consider this your warning because it's the only one you're going to get.

I'm Ready

Oh, how I dined on the finest swine. I filled up today on the Meat Lover's pizza from Pizza Hut. Sausage, pepperoni, ham, and bacon...oh my! Washed down with a tall glass of Iced Tea. Oh, what a treat it was. Now, I am prepared to face my challenge of doing healthy right and leaving behind all of the unhealthy choices I have made. It's never too late to start on a healthy lifestyle. At least, I hope it's not or I'm in big trouble. I've got the okay from my doctor to embark on my journey, so I'm set to go.

I can just imagine the look on the receptionist's face tomorrow when I walk in the gym. The last time I saw her was two months ago when I so enthusiastically ended our conversation with "See you tomorrow." Either tomorrow really means two months or I'm really bad at reading a calendar. I don't even want to think about what my personal trainer is going to say. I imagine she really can't say too much considering she isn't that much of a personal trainer. Really, she's just someone who showed me how to use the machines. And, to be honest, from watching all the infomercials I already knew how to use the machines. But, she's a great person and I can honestly call her my friend. And, since she's my friend she'll most likely laugh at me at first and then give me her full support.

So to help me prepare for the journey, I rediscovered my workout clothes. I felt so bad for them, just sitting in the closet inside a box that was pushed way to the back. Hidden beneath the box was my gym shoes and gym bag. Poor things haven't seen the light of day in so long. Now freshly washed and folded neatly, they are ready to delight in my sweat tomorrow as I burn away this fatty flesh. I have to say I am really proud of them. I got them from my favorite of favorite stores, Ross, a few months ago. I stood in the dressing room for about a half an hour debating on whether they were worth the price or not. Oh who am I kidding? Everyone knows that everything at Ross is affordable and worth the price. But my dilemma was really about whether or not I really needed workout clothes that promised to keep me dry while sweating. Apparently they have some kind of fiber that is anti-sweat. I don't know, I can't remember what the label claimed. I mean, I was doing just fine with the "I *heart* NY" tee shirts and sweat pants. So I broke down and bought them. Two pair of shorts, 3 pair of pants, and 4 shirts. I wore one shirt and one pair of shorts to the gym the next day. Turned out that was the last day I went to the gym. Go figure. The clothes did feel great though.

So I'm ready to take on a healthy lifestyle. I dined on the divine swine. I've got the "go for it" from my doctor. I've got great clothes to wear that are made with some super, magical fabric that is anti-sweat. I've got a gym membership card that is begging to be used. I've got a deadline of August 5th to get my body atleast 20lbs lighter. And most importantly I've got Spirit, yes I do! How about you?

Countdown to Day 1

I have two days until Operation Fitness a.k.a "I'm going to look so hot that songs will be named after me to praise my beauty and my fabulous booty." So two days to go. On Monday, fast food will no longer be apart of my regime, late night eating will be a thing of the past, and donut binges will be outlawed. No more excuses on why I can't go to the gym, or go outside walking, or "I can't exercise right now because AMC or Lost is coming on and I've got to see what happened." Nope, I can't use any of those excuses any more. Besides, it's summer and everything worth watching on tv has already had it's season finale. Therefore I have until late September to get it together and lose this weight that's been carrying me.

So my plan for today is to get as much greasy, fattening, barbecued covered food into my body as possible. Ooh and I can't forget the donuts. If I pace myself, I can probably knock back a good dozen. Okay, okay! I know that's not healthy and I'd probably have a heart attack before I could even make it to day one. So, I'll compromise with just having the dozen donuts. I promise not to scarf them all down in one day. I'll *try* to share with my family.

My overall goal is to lose 45 lbs before the end of the year. But since I have an engagement to attend with my husband in August. My goal for now is to drop 20lbs before August 5th. Can I do it? Probably. If I can leave the junkie food alone and focus on fitness I can have a banging body in no time. I'd post my weight, but you wouldn't believe me anyway. Oh what the hell! I weigh 184lbs. Yep, I do. Doesn't look like it though, does it? Thankfully (and sadly) I have one of those body frames that proportions itself very nicely. The only downside to that is no one ever believes me when I say how much I weigh because it doesn't look like it. The only thing people can notice is my belly fat. It's not bad, but it's not good either. Let's just say I won't be wearing anything tight any time soon. So my goal is to lose 20lbs and flatten my stomach. After I go to the gym on Monday, I'll post my measurements and set a goal for losing inches off my waist. The rest of my body is awesome, if I say so myself, so I'm only concerned about losing inches off my waist. To complete my package I want to tone and firm my body as well.

So my plan is to cut out unhealthy food. Well, at least for the most part. I'm not going to deny myself an artery clogging burger when my body is begging for one. I'm just going to be smart about it from now on. If I have the burger, it no longer needs to be dripping with bacon, extra cheese, and ranch. Mmmm, bacon...

What was I saying? Oh right, cutting out healthy food, exercising, and becoming more active. The boys are home with me this summer so I know we'll be out there fooling around playing. I'm going to try walking in the morning or evening on the days I can't make it to the gym. And, meeting up with friends to workout with. The biggest part of my plan is to have motivation. And to remember that I'm not dieting, I'm on a lifestyle change.

Fitness is a journey, not a destination. All I can hope is that I don't get sidetracked on my journey.

Now about those donuts...

Edited to add the "oh look at me I'm so sad because I'm overweight, but just wait until I lose all this weight. I'm going to be smiling bright, the picture will be clearer, and I'll be extra tanned and buff" picture.